Filed under: thoughts
Don’t ever say ‘wow today just couldn’t get any worse’. Don’t even think it! The moment that the idea of things not possibly getting any worse runs through that space between your ears is the exact moment that the universe will prove you painfully wrong.
I just want things to get better, but piece by piece said things are just falling from my grasp. I’ll get a handle on this eventually. Potentially false, hope is the only thing that gets me through the day.
Filed under: change, confession, hindsight, life, love, relationships, relfections, truth, women
I want to whisper in your ear to tell you just how I feel…but even if I screamed 1000 miles would block the vibrations. We agreed that I can’t call you, so we agreed that I can’t whisper in your ear. I’ve got a big mouth, but I doubt my screams could travel that far or sound just the way I’d like them to even if they did make it to you. So I can’t see you and I can’t call you…I’ll e-mail you. But how can I capture my whisper in an e-mail? There is no equivalent of a whisper in today’s technology. There are no whisper e-mails or text messages. There isn’t even such a thing as a whisper letter or whisper note. If it’s there, it’s there in a very ‘one size fits all’ kind of mindset. We agreed that it’d be easier if we didn’t speak for a while and I’d be breaking my own rules if I were to send you my whisper.
This was my idea after all. I was the one who suggested we go our separate ways. It was as if we drove as fast as possible into each other; a head on collision making more than just a mess and a few irremovable dents in the other’s bumper. You wanted to assess the damage and I wanted to pick up the broken pieces and drive away. So, that’s exactly what I did…but the review mirror is haunting me.
Filed under: change, confession, decisions, friends, life, love, relationships, thoughts
If we stop right here this could be a great love story. If we cut the tape at just this moment we could look back and smile. If we had enough self-control to simply bring this to an end right now and not let it dribble on any further, we might even be grateful for the time we spent together. If we allow this to bleed through onto tomorrow we may as well throw ourselves down a quickly spiraling drain with a pull stronger than ourselves. We’ll be ripped apart, leaving horrible marks on the other where the break off occurred. It’ll get dirty and messy and there will be no way to get out of this easily.
I told you this. I told you how badly I wanted to end that other relationship where we are now. I told you how badly I wished that I could look back at that other relationship with admiration, respect, and appreciation. I told you how badly I want to do that with you. I really hope that we can pull it off…
And if I was a writer id make this into a novel that kids in would complain about being forced to read in high school. Critics would call it genius and to us it’d just be life.
